Christmas and the Inner Child

The Christmas story centering on the birth of the divine Christ child is sheer fallacy to some, revered religious fact to its Christian adherents, or a poetic and fitting time of year to celebrate new life and light coming into the literal and metaphorically darkened world. Whatever your belief, it can also be a profound time of year for Inner Child work, as you may feel the holiday season connecting you to your own childhood, with pleasant, unpleasant or very mixed results. People may react at this time of year out of their earliest patterns of attachment - via security and trust in others, or insecure and disrupted attachment with an ongoing, pervasive sense of loss throughout life or from being re-triggered by other losses. The image of newborn baby Jesus surrounded by his loving adults may be a comforting religious image, but forced social expectations and unquestioned assumptions around the holidays may simply be too much for the fragile world of an inner child who has experienced being mistreated, ignored or abandoned in life.

If you struggle at this time of year, is it possible for you to take time, however briefly, from your busyness and concerns to spend some moments with yourself, in quiet, in whatever ease possible, and in warmth, as you seek to question what triggers your senses of joy and anticipation, or of loss, disappointment, pain? I suggest you do this as lightly as possible, instead of digging, as in simply paying attention to your dreams, what your senses are telling you, and your interactions with others. You may be able to make notes, doodle, paint or speak aloud or sing your feelings. You may find it challenging in claiming time for yourself in the holidays, or you may find this simply impossible. Don't pressure yourself, but do listen to your dreams, your senses, your feelings, and make a note about these when you can. You may also wish to delay this until the New Year in making a real inventory of your life and needs.

If you feel you cannot do this alone, or if you fear what lies beneath, please contact a certified counsellor, therapist, or crisis line as soon as possible, especially if you are in fresh grief or trauma recovery. Professional therapists and trained volunteers are here to help you with your needs for living your day-to-day life, but especially so in times when this may be most difficult for you. And please note that if you are in physical danger from yourself or with others, contact a crisis line immediately or call 911 to get to safety.

Wishing you and your inner child the light and the learning you may need for your new year.